How To Ruin Your Children

Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants.

In this way he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.

When he picks up bad words, laugh at him ... this will make him think he's cute.

It will also encourage him to pick up "cuter" phrases that will blow off the top off your head late.

Never give him any spiritual training.

Wait until he is 21 and then let him "decide for himself."

Avoid use of the word "wrong." It may develop a guilt complex.

This will condition him to believe later, when he is arrested for stealing a car,

that society is against him and he is being persecuted.

Pick up everything he leaves lying around - books, shoes, clothes.

Do everything for him so that he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility to others.

Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children.

In this way they will not be too shocked when the home is broken up later.

Give a child all the spending money he wants.

Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you had them.

Satisfy his every craving for food, drink, comfort.

See that every sensual desire is gratified.

Denial may lead to harmful restraint.

Take his part against neighbours, teachers, policemen.

They are all prejudiced against your child.

When he gets into real trouble, apologise for yourself by saying, "I never could do anything with him."

Tell them they are "No Good" often.

They will grow up trying to prove you are correct.

When they make a mistake,

criticise in front of others so everyone can see how disciplined you are.

If a child with ingenuity creates a useless (but original) "thing",

make a fool of him, he has to learn to be practical.

Prepare for a life of grief. You will be likely to have it.

[Original source unknown]