NEW WORKSHOP FOR SOCIAL WORKERS & FAMILY COUNCELLORS

Are the families you support stuck in cycles of punishment, yelling, or emotional withdrawal? Are parents desperate for change but unsure how to respond without doing more harm?

Discipline Without Damage is a brand-new CPD-ACCREDITED (with the SACSSP) workshop for professionals who work with families. It blends trauma-informed principles and strengths-based strategies - inspired by the Nurtured Heart Approach and other evidence-based methods - to help you guide parents toward calm, connected and confident discipline.

ONLINE via Microsoft Teams
Dates: 27, 28, 29 August 2025
Time: 9:00–13:00 (all three sessions need to be attended)
Investment: R750 (introductory offer – future workshops R950)
Register by 25 August: swanepoel.workshops@gmail.com
CPD: SACSSP accredited for 10 points
Includes a manual and practical notes

Help parents rewrite the script — from reactivity and guilt to connection and clarity.

Dear Parents

We would like to remind you that magic words such as hello, please, you're welcome, I’m sorry, and thank you, all begin to be learned at home.

It’s also at home that children learn to be honest, to be on time, diligent, show friends their sympathy, as well as show utmost respect for their elders and all teachers.

 
Home is also where they learn to be clean, not talk with their mouths full, and how/where to properly dispose of garbage.

 
Home is also where they learn to be organized, to take good care of their belongings, and that it’s not OK to touch others.

 
Here at school, on the other hand, we teach languages, maths, history, geography, physics, accounting etc. We only reinforce the education that children receive at home from their parents. 

Regards
Teacher

Rights and responsibilities of a children and parents

Children's Act 38 of 2005 

Section 16: Responsibilities of children

Every child has responsibilities appropriate to the child's age and ability towards his or her family, community and the state. 

Section 18: Parental rights and responsibilities
The Children’s Act 38 of 2005 provides that a parent has the following rights and responsibilities towards his/her child:

* to care for a child;
* to keep contact with a child;
* to act as guardian of a child; and
* to contribute to the maintenance of a child.

[Click HERE for more info.]

Section 19: Parental responsibilities and rights of mothers
The biological mother of a child, whether married or unmarried, has full parental responsibilities and rights in respect of the child.

Section 20: Parental responsibilities and rights of married fathers

The biological father of a child has full parental responsibilities and rights in respect of the child: 
* If he is married to the child’s mother.
* If he was married to the child’s mother at the time of the child’s conception.
* He marries the mother at the time of the child’s birth.
* A marriage takes place at any time between conception and birth.

Section 21: Parental responsibilities and rights of unmarried fathers

The biological father of a child ... acquires full parental responsibilities and rights in respect of his child if he lives with the child's mother in a permanent life-partnership when the child is born.

He also acquires full parental responsibilities and rights if, regardless of whether or not he has ever lived with the child's mother, he consents or successfully applies to be identified as the child's father or pays damages in terms of customary law, and contributes or attempts in good faith to contribute to the child's upbringing and maintenance for a reasonable period. 

[Click HERE for more info.]

How To Ruin Your Children

Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants.

In this way he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.

When he picks up bad words, laugh at him ... this will make him think he's cute.

It will also encourage him to pick up "cuter" phrases that will blow off the top off your head late.

Never give him any spiritual training.

Wait until he is 21 and then let him "decide for himself."

Avoid use of the word "wrong." It may develop a guilt complex.

This will condition him to believe later, when he is arrested for stealing a car,

that society is against him and he is being persecuted.

Pick up everything he leaves lying around - books, shoes, clothes.

Do everything for him so that he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility to others.

Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children.

In this way they will not be too shocked when the home is broken up later.

Give a child all the spending money he wants.

Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you had them.

Satisfy his every craving for food, drink, comfort.

See that every sensual desire is gratified.

Denial may lead to harmful restraint.

Take his part against neighbours, teachers, policemen.

They are all prejudiced against your child.

When he gets into real trouble, apologise for yourself by saying, "I never could do anything with him."

Tell them they are "No Good" often.

They will grow up trying to prove you are correct.

When they make a mistake,

criticise in front of others so everyone can see how disciplined you are.

If a child with ingenuity creates a useless (but original) "thing",

make a fool of him, he has to learn to be practical.

Prepare for a life of grief. You will be likely to have it.

[Original source unknown]

Global day for parents

Being a parent is the most important job in the world.

The first 1,000 days of life is a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity to build a baby’s brain and shape
a child’s ability to learn and grow. Parents want to
give their children the best they can.
Yet, many have no choice but to work long hours,
often away from home, to support their families.

You and your child ...

I would like to share with you the letter ...

I would like to share with you the letter a school principal in Singapore sent to the parents before the exams.

‘Dear Parents

The exams of your children are to start soon. I know you are anxious for your child to do well.

But please do remember, among the learners who will be sitting for the exams there will be an artist, who doesn’t need to understand Mathematics. There is an entrepreneur, who doesn’t care about History or English literature. There is a musician, whose chemistry marks won’t matter. There’s an athlete …. whose physical fitness is more important than Physics. If your child does get top marks, that’s great! But if he or she doesn’t, please don’t take away their self-confidence or dignity. Tell them it’s ok, it’s just an exam. They are cut out for much bigger things in life. Tell them, no matter what they score, you love them and won’t judge them.

Please do this, and when you do, watch your children conquer the world. One exam or low mark won’t take away their dreams and talent. And please, do not think that doctors and engineers are the only happy people in the world.

With warm regards.’

The TOP 10 Parenting TIPS for raising children:

Think about your long-term goals for your children — what traits do you want them to have as adults?

Your children will be more likely to listen to you if you have a loving relationship with them.

You also need to teach them how to behave so they become capable and caring adults.

There is no “one size fits all” way to parent. Everyone needs to find what works best for him and his child.

These Top Ten Tips can help you create a family in which your kids feel supported and loved.

1.  Fill your home with love and respect.
2.  Listen to your children’s feelings and thoughts.
3.  Focus on what’s good about your children.
4.  Have your children to do things for themselves so they feel able.
5.  Know what your children can do based on their age and abilities.
6.  Follow through with rules and consequences.
7.  Do not hit, blame, or shame.
8.  Expect mistakes (yours and theirs) and learn from them.
9.  Behave how you want your children to behave.
10 Maintain a sense of humor.

(More information here.)

How to Develop a Good Parent and Child Relationship

1.         Being Involved

1.1       Get on their level.

1.2       Emphasize the importance of family time.

1.3       Dedicate one-on-one time for each child.

1.4       Stay in touch with academics, friendships, and extra-curriculars.

2.         Maintaining Positive Communication

2.1       Be trustworthy.

2.2       Practice active listening without distractions.

2.3       Follow the 3 F’s of effective parenting.

2.3.1    Be firm. State what the consequences are and apply them consistently.

2.3.2    Be fair. Make sure the punishment fits the crime. 

            Try to avoid harsh or excessive consequences.

2.3.3    Be friendly. Convey your words in steady yet polite tone. 
            Avoid raising your voice.
            Simply explain what terms they violated and lay out the consequences. 

            Also, take time to praise them when they are doing well.

2.4       Have relaxed, side-by-side conversations.

3.         Changing the Relationship over Time

3.1       Review rules and increase privileges as your children get older.

3.2       Include them in decisions.

3.3       Encourage your child to take on challenges and find independence.

3.4       Open up and show your human side.

(More information here.)

Parents can only give good advice ...

A few minutes ...

Parents are the stars ...