The TOP 10 TIPS to get your children to do chores and take responsibility:

When your children are so busy (school and activities), you may not want to give them chores. 

However, kids who succeed in school and in life started doing chores at three to four years of age.

Chores teach skills for life such as learning how to do things well and meeting responsibilities. They also give children a way to contribute to the world.

1.   Support but don’t take over.

2.   Give more perks as children become more mature.
3.   Let them make as many choices as possible.
4.   Teach them what they are supposed to do and how to do it.
5.   Praise the steps along the way, not just when a chore is done.
6.   Notice when they’re doing what they’re supposed to, not just when they aren’t.
7.   Give chores that match their makeup, maturity, and likes.
8.   Set rules and follow through on consequences.
9.   Support them to find an interest where they can give their all.
10. Be positive about doing your chores.

(Read more here.)

The TOP 10 Parenting TIPS for raising children:

Think about your long-term goals for your children — what traits do you want them to have as adults?

Your children will be more likely to listen to you if you have a loving relationship with them.

You also need to teach them how to behave so they become capable and caring adults.

There is no “one size fits all” way to parent. Everyone needs to find what works best for him and his child.

These Top Ten Tips can help you create a family in which your kids feel supported and loved.

1.  Fill your home with love and respect.
2.  Listen to your children’s feelings and thoughts.
3.  Focus on what’s good about your children.
4.  Have your children to do things for themselves so they feel able.
5.  Know what your children can do based on their age and abilities.
6.  Follow through with rules and consequences.
7.  Do not hit, blame, or shame.
8.  Expect mistakes (yours and theirs) and learn from them.
9.  Behave how you want your children to behave.
10 Maintain a sense of humor.

(More information here.)

The TOP 10 TIPS to manage anger:

The heat of the moment is not the best time to teach children. When strong emotions are present, parents may over-react.

Kids may not be able to use the thinking part of their brains. The best time to teach children how to behave is when everyone is calm.

Emotions come and go. On average, emotions pass in 90 seconds. By waiting, you have a better chance of sharing your feelings in a healthy way.

1.   Accept anger as a normal emotion.

2.   Don’t respond to your children’s anger with outbursts of your own.
3.   Let your kids know when and why you are angry. This can improve your relationship.
4.   Think about anger triggers – feelings not heard or needs not met.
5.   Know signs of growing anger – sweaty palms, heart beating fast, clenching teeth, stomachache.
6.   Listen to your children’s angry feelings.
7.   Teach children to “use their words” rather than act out their feelings.
8.   Show children ways to calm down – counting to ten, blowing bubbles, taking deep breaths.
9.   Show your anger in ways that do not blame or shame.
10. Be patient – managing anger is the work of a lifetime.

(More information here.)

Groblershoop - stilte en rus

Groblershoop Kindersorgfoto's

How to Develop a Good Parent and Child Relationship

1.         Being Involved

1.1       Get on their level.

1.2       Emphasize the importance of family time.

1.3       Dedicate one-on-one time for each child.

1.4       Stay in touch with academics, friendships, and extra-curriculars.

2.         Maintaining Positive Communication

2.1       Be trustworthy.

2.2       Practice active listening without distractions.

2.3       Follow the 3 F’s of effective parenting.

2.3.1    Be firm. State what the consequences are and apply them consistently.

2.3.2    Be fair. Make sure the punishment fits the crime. 

            Try to avoid harsh or excessive consequences.

2.3.3    Be friendly. Convey your words in steady yet polite tone. 
            Avoid raising your voice.
            Simply explain what terms they violated and lay out the consequences. 

            Also, take time to praise them when they are doing well.

2.4       Have relaxed, side-by-side conversations.

3.         Changing the Relationship over Time

3.1       Review rules and increase privileges as your children get older.

3.2       Include them in decisions.

3.3       Encourage your child to take on challenges and find independence.

3.4       Open up and show your human side.

(More information here.)

Die verhaal van die potlood ...

Lank gelede was daar ‘n potloodmaker wat baie trots op sy werk was. Sy potlode was kunswerke, want hy het altyd sy beste gegee.

Eendag het hy, voordat hy een van die potlode in ‘n pakkie gesit het vir die potlood gesê: “Daar is vyf dinge wat jy moet weet voordat ek jou die wêreld instuur; onthou dit elke dag en moet dit nooit vergeet nie. As jy dit doen, sal jy die beste potlood wees” 

Toe begin die potloodmaker die vyf dinge op te noem:

1.  Die potlood sal groot dinge in die lewe kan doen, as hy gewillig in iemand se hand sal lê.
2.  Hy gaan van tyd tot tyd skerpgemaak word ten einde diensbaar te wees.
3.  Hy sal foute maak, maar omdat hy ook van ‘n uitveër voorsien is, sal hy sy foute kan herstel.
4.  Alhoewel hy ‘n kunswerk is, is sy buitekant nie die heel belangrikste nie, wel sy binnekant .
5.  Hy moes sy merk op elke oppervlak maak, ongeag die omstandighede. Hy moes net aanhou skryf.

Hierdie vyf beginsels kan ons elkeen in ons lewens toepas, dan sal ons ook die beste kan word wat God van ons verwag.

1. God het vir jou en my lewe groot en mooi planne, maar ons wil nie altyd na God luister en daardie pad loop wat God wil hê ons moet loop nie. Ons volg ons eie kop en so mis ons 'n wonderlike lewe. Lees Jesaja 49:1 en 13.

2. Net soos die potlood gaan ek en jy ook soms hartseer en minder lekker dinge moet deurmaak! Alles gaan nie altyd verloop soos ons dit wil hê nie. Op die ou-end, al verstaan ons dit nie nou nie, wil God hê dat al die hartseer van ons sterker en beter mense maak. Lees Psalm 23:2

3. Geen fout wat ek en jy ooit sal maak, gaan té groot wees om reg te maak nie. Nie omdat ons so wonderlik is nie, maar omdat God ons help. Lees Jesaja 41:10 en 1 Johannes 1:9.

4. Ons bestee baie tyd aan ons uiterlike voorkoms en ons is baie bekommerd oor ons klere en haarstyle. Maar ons heel belangrikste deel, is dit wat net God kan sien -  ons harte. Lees Ps. 51 :8, 12.

5. Oral waar ons gaan, of ons dit wil weet of nie, laat ons 'n merk. Dit is 'n mooi of lelike merk. Wat sien mense in jou lewe - waar jy ontspan, skoolgaan, werk en speel? Lees Jesaja 31:21 en 2 Korintiërs 3:1-3 en 18.

Parents can only give good advice ...